While for the most part, those closest to you only want to see you happy, they can also be afraid of the changes that occur when you take a proactive stand at achieving something new in your life. Sometimes they're afraid that they'll get left behind, or that they will somehow become less of a priority in your life as you become this assertive, confident, accomplished new person.

Let's face it; losing weight is empowering, and it's bound to change your personality in ways that threaten and shake the foundation of those that depend on you. Especially spouses, mates, close relatives, children, and sometimes even your very best friends. People that are used to you putting your needs aside to be there for them will sometimes express the most resistance to your newfound sense of self.

For a husband or boyfriend, seeing you become more confident and attractive is definitely a threat. It's a known fact that many partners actually take an active role in sabotaging their other half's self esteem because of their own possessiveness and low self esteem issues. The better you start to look and feel about yourself, the bigger a threat it becomes to the hold they have on you. They'd rather see you remain overweight and insecure. That way they'll have less fear of you ever wanting to leave. Is your spouse or girlfriend complaining that you work out too much, or that your workouts are taking time away from them? Do they ridicule your fitness and weight loss efforts instead of supporting you completely? If so, this might be a sign of an unhealthy relationship where the person's need to control and possess you supercedes seeing you healthy and doing well.

If you plan to stay in such a relationship, you will have to find ways to reassure your partner that your weight loss won't have any effect on how you feel about them. That's a tough row to hoe, but if you feel that your relationship is worth it, and you don't want to have to give up being healthy and fit to keep it, finding a way to balance it all out is very important.

Your children and any relatives that depend on you might also fall into this same category. They're so accustomed to you being at their beck and call, doing for them. Now, here you are, taking time for yourself that they feel is rightfully theirs. Your kids become more difficult and whiny because they know that will get your attention. Other relatives dependent on your care become surly and difficult, sometimes making unkind remarks about you and your fitness efforts.

This is all meant to make you feel so guilty that you'll stop taking your "me" time to go and work out, and just stay focused on their needs. If you find this happening, you will have to put your foot down and stand firm. Explain to them that the healthier you are, the more you will actually be able to do, not only for yourself, but for them, too. Fitter people have more energy, and more capacity to get daily tasks done faster. You being healthier is an asset to your family, not a hindrance. Do what's necessary to make sure that they understand this. At times, the ones you consider to be your very best friends will also change as you lose weight. Denise, who packed on a lot of weight after developing bad eating habits in college, formed a tight circle of friends with some co workers on her first job that she started after graduating. Inseparable, she and her girlfriends would get together after work and on weekends, take trips together, and were all each other's support system and sounding board for all of life's little ups and downs. Although Denise was the heaviest girl in the group, she was never made to feel self conscious or less attractive than her good friends. They accepted her as she was, and always complimented her clothes, hair, make up, etc. However, when Denise began successfully losing the 60 lbs she'd put on in college, she noticed a definite change in the attitudes of a few of her close friends. Suddenly, there were snide little comments and jokes made at her expense by these girls. They also began excluding her from certain get togethers and events in which they'd usually all participate. Not understanding the sudden change in her friends attitudes towards her, Denise was puzzled and hurt.

Now, these friends, who she saw as her support system, were suddenly rejecting her and trying to make her feel bad about herself. Why?

Apparently, everything was fine when she was just 'the fat girl' in the group, but once she started becoming fitter, slimmer, more confident, and actually starting to like her physical self, and also began dressing to show off her slimmer new physique instead of hiding her body in weight disguising fashions like before, the other girls saw it as a threat. No longer the old stand by, she was becoming competition, in their eyes. That changed everything.

This is something that happens not only in weight loss situations, but also when someone suddenly starts achieving things where they weren't before. It's at those times in your life that you really find out who your true friends are.

You need to stand firm in the face of any and all opposition to achieve your goals. Many people cave in to the pressure of guilt, negativity, fear of rejection, and fear of losing the love of family members and friends who are acting out in these ways. When you see this happening, you have to open up communication with the people in your life. Let them know how important it really is to you to be a fitter, healthier person.
As for friends, be sure to cultivate and surround yourself with positive, supportive, confident people who are about doing and achieving, themselves. That way they won't feel threatened when you make forward, positive strides in your own life.

Taking time for yourself doesn't mean that you love your family and friends any less. If anything, it means that you're trying to make sure you'll be around for them to enjoy for as long as possible.
Getting them to know and understand that is the key to making sure everyone around you and in your life is supportive, secure and happy.